Episode 615 - Stop Bragging About Rank
In this episode, Jeremy and co-host Andrew Adams take on when to Stop Bragging About Rank.
Stop Bragging About Rank - Episode 615
When people have stars and stripes, they usually tend to be overly proud about it and it’s the same with Martial Artists, most of the time. It’s not wrong to take pride in our achievements however, there is a thin line between celebrating what you have done and bragging about it. In this episode, Jeremy and co-host Andrew Adams take on when to Stop Bragging About Rank and what ego has to do with it.
Show Transcript
You can read the transcript below.
Jeremy Lesniak:
What's up everybody? Welcome, this is whistlekick Martial Arts Radio! I am Jeremy, this is Andrew and today we are going to talk about bragging about rank. Sometimes fine, sometimes not so fine line between where it's appropriate and where it's not. If you are new to this show, if you want to check out all the things that we've got going on, go to whistlemartialartsradio.com. See all the episodes we've ever done or go to whistlekick.com where you are gonna see all the things that we do. From our books to our training programs to the other projects, programs, people that are involved in this endeavor that we have here.
What do we do? Why do we do it? We are here to support the traditional martial arts world or industry and the purpose of this show is to connect, educate, and entertain traditional martial artists throughout the world. No matter what you train, no matter where you are, what language you speak because we are far more that connects us than divides us and I feel very strongly about that. To my knowledge, everybody involved in whistlekick feels very strongly about that, that's why they're here. So, let's talk about this [00:01:17.15].
Andrew Adams:
Let's do it.
Jeremy Lesniak:
There are ways you could help us. We can talk about those in the outro. If you go back to the history of Martial Arts Radio, probably the biggest theme is my frustration with ego and what ego does to martial arts. Ego destroys martial arts careers, it pushes people away, it creates rifts in friendship and I tend to look at it as what if ego was not such a prominent aspect of martial arts training? Where would we be? How much further along in the development of martial arts in terms of human development, psychological development, personal development? Would so many of us would be if ego did not rear its head at seemingly every turn.
Andrew Adams:
Yeah, and it's been around for hundreds of years.
Jeremy Lesniak:
We are not going to get rid of that. I am fully aware of that but I’m going to work to make sure that personal growth via training, via progress with the martial arts is connected to a reduction of unhealthy expression of ego. I think that's the best way I can put it. Now, when we talk about that, it could be very easy if you haven't listened to the rest of this. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if we have people who chime in without listening to this episode.
Andrew Adams:
Before listening to the whole thing…
Jeremy Lesniak:
And they are gonna say "Jeremy, there's nothing wrong with me putting stripes on my belt or referring to my instructor by their title outside of training, right?" You're right. There is nothing inherently wrong with that but like so many things, there is nuance to it and you could have a healthy way of dealing with it. You could have an unhealthy way of dealing with it and so let’s unpack where that line is because once we can find that line, we can create a rule and we could filter all this other stuff through it to see am I bragging about rank? Or am I being proud or celebrating?
Andrew Adams:
Having pride in what you have accomplished.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Because that is something that should be done. In fact, in our society, we tend to not be proud of the things that we've done because so many people brag about what they've done and we don't wanna be associated with that.
Andrew Adams:
We're afraid of how it will come across.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Absolutely, let's take an extreme example. Let's work from that because I think often times those are the easiest ones to unpack and we draw something from. What is the most ridiculous example you could come up with of someone bragging about their rank?
Andrew Adams:
I would think someone who created their own style and immediately said, "I'm a tenth of a Black belt, look at the stripes of my belt".
Jeremy Lesniak:
It's happened.
Andrew Adams:
Absolutely.
Jeremy Lesniak:
We know exactly of where it's happened. I need to go a step further. They legally changed their name to their title.
Andrew Adams:
Oh my goodness, I’ve never even thought of that.
Jeremy Lesniak:
That's the most extreme example I have come up with.
Andrew Adams:
Alright you win.
Jeremy Lesniak:
So, instead of being you know - Grandmaster first name, last name. You're legally on your now license- Grandmaster first name, last name and if someone addresses you, you insist on the use of that title. That's about as extreme as I can.
Andrew Adams:
Yeah, I would agree.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Now, why is that so extreme? Why is that so over the topic? Because that very same person who achieved that rank, most of us would not have an issue referring to them as Grandmaster [00:05:18.16] in the context of training. So, why does that turn people off? Why is that such a negative expression of ego? You have a thought?
Andrew Adams:
Well, I mean because let's say that person gets held over for speeding, the police officers are gonna have to call them by Grandmaster? It would be absurd. To that person, to the police officer, they are not a Grandmaster because they’re not training together.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Right, that last sentence I think is a nail on the head. I think it's when your identity becomes equivalent to your training, if who I am, if my title in terms of training and instructing becomes equivalent with my identity outside of training, that is where it's gone too far. If I call you Sensei while we are training and then you insist on me calling you Sensei outside of training, that's too far.
Andrew Adams:
Yup.
Jeremy Lesniak:
That's bragging about your rank. That is you embodying your training in day-to-day life.
Andrew Adams:
Exactly. It would be fun if you chose to call me Sensei. If we're walking down the street and pass each other, "Good evening, Sensei." That's fine but if you said, "Hello, Andrew" and I chastised you, that’s when there would be an issue.
Jeremy Lesniak:
It's a completely different mindset. I've called instructors by their title outside of training because it’s uncomfortable for me to say their first name because I spent so much time calling them this or that rank, title that it's weird and I'm just trying to be respectful and kind and it's easier for me to be respectful and kind by using their title but they would never have a problem with me calling them by their name.
Andrew Adams:
Okay.
Jeremey Lesniak:
Where else does this show up? Where else does bragging about rank cross that line? I think one of the places that it does is in… Every example I come back to has to do with use of title. Here's one that drives me nuts and it could be on both sides of the line, depending on the usage - social media. I've seen people whose first name on Facebook is their title. Now, here's why I could see doing that in one of two ways. If your primary usage of social media is in a professional martial arts context and the people you're engaging with know you by your title and your last name, it makes more sense from a marketing perspective to be Sensei Adams than Andrew ‘cause people would go "Who's Andrew Adams?"
Andrew Adams:
Right
Jeremy Lesniak:
Who is this person?
Andrew Adams:
People say it all the time.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Oh, that’s Sensei! That makes sense to me but then let's go back to the extreme name change. If your entire identity, who you are, what you do, your contributions to the world and your position in society is wrapped up in the singularity of your ranking title, that's where it’s too far
Andrew Adams:
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak:
And that's where it needs to be walked back. I am incredibly cautious when I engage with people who have their title in their name. In fact, to me that is generally a flag of one of a number of things and I'm thinking of people right now that I think very highly of who does this so there are exceptions. I am not making a sweeping generalization here. Here's another extreme that I don't think that we would see too often. Wearing a belt out and about. If all you would wear is your uniform, your belt with all the stripes, your name down the edge or whatever, that would probably too far. In fact, most schools have rules about that built in.
Andrew Adams:
Exactly. Unless you’re Master Ken.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Unless you’re Master Ken and Master Ken plays [00:10:01:21] so that’s okay.
Andrew Adams:
That’s fair.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Do we have any other spots that we could unpack with this? Before we start coming up with rules.
Andrew Adams:
No, I think that’s the big thing. I think it’s the title, requiring of the title outside of class.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Sure. So if we look at that then, we could look at two sides. The person who is bragging about rank and being over the top and everybody else, basically the students. If someone has to brag about their rank, I think we could draw some conclusions there. If all that person has is their rank and their insistence to people addressing by that rank at baby showers and weddings and wherever else and again not the people choose to but the insistence of it. That is an important distinction.
Andrew Adams:
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak:
That person missed a lot of the personal development opportunities that come through martial arts and they probably need some growth time. They need to work on themselves.
Andrew Adams:
Yeah, absolutely.
Jeremy Lesniak:
I think that's pretty clear. I think most people would agree with that. Lost what you’re gonna say?
Andrew Adams:
[00:11:25:11].
Jeremy Lesniak:
I’m rolling back. Anyway, if someone's gonna brag about rank, it says a lot about who they are.
Andrew Adams:
Yup.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Now, what about those around them? Because this I think is a more important thing to talk about. What do we tell the students?
Andrew Adams:
Well, I think the students are hearing that rank is most important above anything else.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Especially from that instructor.
Andrew Adams:
Right, exactly.
Jeremy Lesniak:
That it is king. These are the schools where I find people are terrified to change school because they have to start over and their identity starts to get wrapped up in rank.
Andrew Adams:
Yup, yup.
Jeremy Lesniak:
I've known people who have trained somewhere, let’s say they’ve earned whatever rank. You know could be a Brown belt, could be a second degree, it's not some, they’re not an 8th Dan but they’ve put in some time. They’ve achieved some things. They have some respect and they go elsewhere and they refuse to train anywhere where they have to start over.
Andrew Adams:
Yeah, lose rank.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Because if they have to start over, their identity is wrapped up in that rank and this is a problem because I would rather someone continue training as a White belt somewhere else and something else and further their martial arts education then look for… and I get emails like this all the time, "I've trained in this style and this location or with this person. That school closed. I had to move. Whatever. There's nowhere around me that I could just step in and do the same stuff in the same rank because it is too different."
Andrew Adams:
I wouldn't phrase it this way but my response would be, "Who cares?" It shouldn’t matter.
Jeremy Lesniak:
It shouldn't matter. I think the important thing to remember is that when you train, you're training for your own reasons and if your training satisfies those reasons, that's all that matters. So, if you end up with an instructor… I've trained under people who fit this model. I respect their martial arts rank, I don't respect them as people. I think they are terrible people but wonderful instructors. It can happen.
Andrew Adams:
Oh, absolutely.
Jeremy Lesniak:
I've known several of them. I will happily train under them. Not long term. I'm not gonna take rank from them but they have things to share that I wanna learn.
Andrew Adams:
Yup.
Jeremy Lesniak:
There are plenty of other ways where expressing rank can be bragging but it can also not be, so I'm being really careful about some of these things. Here's a great one that could be either way. A windbreaker with a school logo, name, and title. Is that me respecting the title that I've earned through that training in that organization? Because it's got the logo, I'm probably gonna wear that to and from class. Does it make sense there? Or is it me wanting other people out in the world to see that windbreaker and know that I'm a this, that, or the other or inviting them to ask. Forget about the fact that you're gonna put your rank or even a very direct- I train martial arts on outerwear when you're out in the world, carry some risk with it. Notice that very little what whistlekick puts out for apparel says “martial arts” on it.
Andrew Adams:
Yeah, just “whistlekick”.
Jeremy Lesniak:
There’s a reason. But it could go in one or two different directions.
Andrew Adams:
Yup. Yeah. Well, they could be considered marketing. They’re like, “I’m like marketing my school.”
Jeremy Lesniak:
Totally fine. So what's the rule that we have that I think this all stills down to? What is the reason? What is the why? Understanding the why is the most critical parts and if the why is healthy or resonates your why. If it make sense to you, it's fine.
If it doesn't, it's not. There's so many examples in my head right now that go back to certain people or could be considered going back to certain people that I respect, that I'm trying to be really cautious because I'm not trying to throw stones at anybody. Now, Let's take all of that aside. Let's take a moment and bring it back to the top and connect the dots.
Why do I think this is important? Why should people stop bragging about their rank? Because it's not the most important thing. It's not what matters. Your personal growth as a martial artist is so much more important than any stripes on your belt or title or how many students in your school or how much money you made teaching private lessons or any of these things.
Andrew Adams:
It doesn't define me.
Jeremy Lesniak:
It should not define you and if it does define you, then you're missing out on opportunities to progress further and to become a better person and help educate and bring up the next generation of martial artists. I feel so strongly about this that the more time I spend thinking about it, talking about it, the more resistant I am to ever taking an additional title beyond Sensei, the only one I ever wanted, it essentially means “one who came before” or essentially “teacher” if you want to get even more simpler. I'm good with that.
Andrew Adams:
Sure.
Jeremy Lesniak:
I've had other people give me titles, never used them. I don't have stripes on my belt. I’ve had the same belt for 26 years. Don't care, it's black mostly, kinda faded, got some white edges. I'm the same person I am right now in these jeans and sweatshirt as I am when I’m wearing a gi or dobak, or a 3D suit.
Andrew Adams:
‘Cause it does not define who you are. Yup, absolutely.
Jeremy Lesniak:
So, if you watched this or listened to this and you are feeling a little bit uncomfortable with the things we brought up, I would encourage you to think about why. Why does this bother you? The last thing, if you know anything about me, the last thing I ever said on this show is that I am right, if you disagree with me you are wrong. I've always said, I hope this makes you think. If it makes you think, if this makes you uncomfortable and that leads to some thought, some conversation with some people that you care about and trust, great. That’s awesome.
Andrew Adams:
Yeah.
Jeremy Lesniak:
If you watched or listened to this and you disagree but humanly and you come away with it and say, "You know what, Jeremy is actually more in [00:18:05:25] with my beliefs because I’ve thought of that.” Cool. I support that. I want you to believe what you believe because you believe not because you were told.
Andrew Adams:
Absolutely.
Jeremy Lesniak:
You think I’m [00:18:17:12].
Andrew Adams:
No, I think that’s great.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Then, let's call it here. So thanks for watching, thanks for listening. If you want to support the work we do at whistlekick, you’ve got lots of ways you can do it - whistlekickprograms.com, learn how to get stronger and faster and better condition. If you wanna grab a book at Amazon, go to Amazon and search whistlekick. You'll find plenty of books over there. We roll out new ones all the time. We’ve got a Patreon where you can get not only additional exclusive content you won't find anywhere else but now free merch, stickers and shirts and stuff like that and we're not making you pay extra for that. This is something that we’ve been looking to do and now we’re doing it. Follow us on social media, we are @whistlekick. Leave us some tip at whistlekickmartialartsradio.com. Guest suggestions, email me at jeremywhistlekick.com. I think we’ll call it there. Thank you, everyone! So, until next time…
Andrew Adams and Jeremy Lesniak:
…train hard, smile, and have a great day.