Episode 990- Sensei Aidan Coakley

In this episode, Jeremy chats with Sensei Aidan Coakley about his early start in the martial arts and how it brought him to be a teacher.

Sensei Aidan Coakley - Episode 990

SUMMARY

In this conversation, Sensei Aidan Coakley shares his journey in martial arts, starting from a young age and evolving into an instructor. He discusses the importance of family dynamics in running a dojo, the challenges faced, and how he has adapted his teaching philosophy over the years. Sensei Coakley emphasizes the significance of lifelong learning and creating an engaging environment for students, highlighting the balance between physical training and understanding the deeper aspects of martial arts emphasizing the deep connection between identity and training. He reflects on how his teaching methods have evolved, focusing on passion and responsibility towards students. He also shares insights on the importance of legacy in martial arts, the challenges of balancing different aspects of training, and his aspirations for the future. The conversation highlights the significance of community engagement and the impact of positive role models in martial arts education.

TAKEAWAYS

• Aidan started martial arts at three years old.

• Family support was crucial in his martial arts journey.

• Teaching martial arts involves continuous learning and adaptation.

• Creating a fun and engaging environment is key for students.

• Mystery and curiosity can enhance student engagement.

• Aidan's teaching style has evolved over the years.

• Family dynamics can complicate running a dojo but also enrich it.

• It's important to separate personal and professional relationships in a family business.

• Aidan emphasizes the importance of respect in teaching.

• Engaging students during training enhances their learning experience.

• Martial arts is a core part of one's identity for many practitioners.

• Passion cannot be taught; it must be cultivated over time.

• Instructors have a responsibility to be positive role models.

• Legacy in martial arts is crucial for its continuity.

• Creating a positive environment fosters passion in students.

• Balancing fun, fitness, and practical skills is challenging for schools.

• Future aspirations include improving schools and community involvement.

• Teaching is a learning experience for instructors as well.

• Community engagement is vital for the growth of martial arts.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction and Background
02:00 Journey into Martial Arts
11:04 Family Dynamics in Martial Arts
20:05 Teaching Philosophy and Evolution
23:45 Engaging with Students During Training
24:57 Identity and Martial Arts
27:54 Passion and Responsibility in Teaching
30:37 The Role of a Martial Arts Instructor
33:32 The Importance of Legacy in Martial Arts
35:19 Cultivating Passion in Martial Arts Training
37:48 Balancing Different Aspects of Martial Arts
43:20 Future Aspirations in Martial Arts
46:05 Final Thoughts and Community Engagement

To connect with Sensei Aidan Coakley

Facebook: OKKA - Mullica Hill
Instagram: okka_mullicahill
Youtube: OKKA Mullica Hill
https://www.youtube.com/@okkamullicahill2321

After listening to the episode, it would be exciting for us to know your thoughts about it.

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Show Transcript

Jeremy (07:01.222)

What's going on everybody? Welcome back. It's another episode of Whistlegate Commercial Arts Radio. And on today's show, I'm joined by my friend and I actually get to say that my friend Sensei Aiden Kokely. Aiden, I'm really excited to talk to you. This is, I don't know if I want to call it overdue. That suggests that the two of us did something wrong, but I've been, as soon as Andrew told me, I got to talk to you. was like, yay. I get to learn more about my new friends. If you are perhaps a new member of the audience, you,

should go to whistlekickmarshallartsradio.com and see every episode we've ever done. We've got transcripts, we've got social media links, we've got website links, we've got photos, we've got videos. We've got, if you want the place for all the stuff for the show, whistlekickmarshallartsradio.com. It's also a place you can learn about getting on the email list or joining the Patreon or learn more about Marshallitics, which is our recommendation for school management software, because it's great and it's inexpensive and it works really well and it's what I use.

But if you want to go deeper on what we do as an organization, whistlekick.com is the place to go. It's where you go for things like events, like free training day, where Aiden and I met for the first time, or Marshall Summit and Matic, where I saw Aiden last time, right? Like we got a bunch of cool stuff going on. Two times, yeah. you been killing it, man. I love how supportive you've been of what we're working on. And for those of you out there,

Aidan Coakley (08:19.288)

to that.

Jeremy (08:29.88)

you should check out what we're doing. You should see why so many people are supporting Whistlekick and our mission to connect, educate and entertain, to get everyone in the world to train for six months. And with that, Aidan, welcome to Martial Arts Radio.

Aidan Coakley (08:45.08)

Thanks for having me here, I'm excited. I've never been on a podcast, this is gonna be fun.

Jeremy (08:49.553)

It is gonna be fun. It's already fun. You have already had more fun than you paid for. There's no better return than appearance on this show. It is towards the end of the day. I'm a little silly.

Aidan Coakley (09:00.045)

Eh.

Jeremy (09:07.364)

I don't get to talk to a whole lot of people that I know and have trained with, right? Typically, if I end up training with someone who's been on the show, they come on the show first and then I meet them in person, then they're at an event or something. So this is a little bit backwards for me because I know bits, right? Like I know pieces of you and your training and your history, but I don't know a lot. So forgive me, I'm gonna start with the boring question. How'd you get started?

Aidan Coakley (09:38.37)

got started I was three years old. Yeah, so I've been at it for give or take 20 years now. And yeah, I, I have an older brother who started like a year before me. And then eventually it was my turn to go out. And yeah, my brother was a little bit more of the shy timid kid. I was the one that needed the focus and the discipline and the respect I needed.

Jeremy (09:41.981)

REET!

Aidan Coakley (10:07.478)

I needed that when I was that age. Yeah, and so it's been a long road. But I remember my first class, I had been out there, I was out there for like buddy nights and such with my brother. And then it was finally my turn. We stepped out to bow and everything. ran crying off the floor. But, know, so took a little bit at the beginning. But then, yeah, I just kind of just kept on doing it. And I'm here now.

Jeremy (10:37.31)

Hmm.

Aidan Coakley (10:38.286)

I

Jeremy (10:40.927)

So this is starting off this first. So I spoke with your friend Ryan earlier today. I don't know if these are gonna go back to back or what order they're going to be in, but Ryan said something similar that his first day he ran off the floor crying. And I don't feel like I'm throwing him under the bus because this isn't a unique experience. You teach students now and.

Aidan Coakley (10:48.206)

Yeah.

Jeremy (11:07.26)

You've probably seen quite a few kids run off the floor and maybe not even on their first day.

Aidan Coakley (11:13.815)

Yeah.

Jeremy (11:15.464)

But that obviously changed, right? You went from, my God, this is so terrifying. I'm a small child. I don't want to do this. I'm going to run away crying to, if I may, this is my life.

Aidan Coakley (11:29.048)

Mm-hmm.

Jeremy (11:30.504)

How does one get from one extreme to the other here? This is big. How'd that shift happen?

Aidan Coakley (11:36.91)

I would honestly say time and just yeah, I know a lot of martial arts have martial arts have this idea of of once you dedicate yourself to lifelong learning like it's it's such a awesome path forward and You know, I I wasn't in love with karate always There there were a few times that you you know, especially as a kid growing up and you want to try other activities and

and this and that. But, you know, the last however many years I've really stuck with it. And yeah, it's a great thing to be a part of. And yeah, it is, I contribute so much to how I am today, due to my instructors and karate as a whole and the community that it brings.

Jeremy (12:29.086)

Hmm. Okay.

We don't always get people who are willing to admit that they weren't always in love with it. Did you step away?

Aidan Coakley (12:41.184)

No, so I never did step away. My parents and my instructors, they had a unified front and they kept me in and it was consistent. And so yeah, I wasn't in love with going every single class or whatever. But again, once I was there, just kind of like how you might not be motivated to go to the gym, but then once you're there, you're having fun, you're doing your workout. So kind of similar.

Jeremy (13:05.982)

Sure. How old, how old were you when, when, I mean, was this from, from the get-go as a young child or were you one of these adolescents that resisted?

Aidan Coakley (13:18.702)

In the beginning, I was head over heels for it and everything and then, you know, six, seven years later, I was 10, 11 years old. I started learning about what baseball was and other sports and everything. So I was privileged enough to be able to still do those sports as well as maintain karate in my school and whatnot. And especially when I

It was a long time ago now when our instructor recognized us and was like, hey, I want to open up a school in your town. Can you guys be the instructors and the people that kind of run that? And we were, yeah, yeah. At that point, I was 12 or 13. So my prep is this.

Jeremy (14:06.696)

How old were you at that point?

Aidan Coakley (14:16.96)

It was my older brother as well as my parents that we were all black belts and had been kind of assisting and instructing for a number of years at that point in our home dojo.

Jeremy (14:29.342)

Now, you may have seen the follow-up question on my face, but it may not have been the question that you thought I was going to ask, and the audience might also be wondering this too. I wasn't assuming, and honestly, I never would, that because you were 12 years old, you couldn't teach. There are people out there, and there are different philosophies on instruction, and you know quite a few of mine from going through Matic. If you know the material and you can convey the material,

There are rare, rare in my mind, situations that someone of that age can't handle. But of course, making it a family endeavor, that puts a whole different spin on it. Were your parents training before you were training?

Aidan Coakley (15:12.16)

yeah.

Aidan Coakley (15:16.142)

Not really my dad did a little in college. I think there was like a club at his college But no it was my brother and then me and then my mom said hey, I'm here I might as well be on the floor and then she got my dad to it. That's dude

Jeremy (15:17.638)

Okay. Okay.

Jeremy (15:33.39)

statement. Quite a few moms have started martial arts in that way. Why am I just sitting on this? That was my mother's story. She sat on the side for two years and said, wait, why don't I just do this?

Aidan Coakley (15:40.973)

Yeah.

Aidan Coakley (15:45.078)

Yeah, and we have plenty of moms and families that they join that way too. We tell them that story and it's fairly common as well.

Jeremy (15:49.022)

Mm.

Jeremy (15:56.543)

So what was it like for you at 12 years old, you've earned a black belt, you're doing some instruction, and now you're opening a school with your family? That's a story I don't think we've heard before.

Aidan Coakley (16:10.528)

Yeah, and probably with good reason. It's not always the fun.

Jeremy (16:13.342)

If you're listening to this episode and you're not watching, you're missing Aidan's face, but maybe you can hear his face in his words and my laughter.

Aidan Coakley (16:28.204)

Yeah, so it's we I love my family. We all love each other. But yeah, there were plenty of times, especially when like my brother and I, we would start to either learn more because like we would still go back to our home dojo and train and whatnot. We would have to bring that back to my parents and then start kind of teaching them and what so.

Jeremy (16:55.336)

How much older is your brother?

Aidan Coakley (16:57.268)

He's two, three years older than me.

Jeremy (16:59.207)

Okay, okay, so you're 12, he's 14, 15, and these are, I mean, this is probably peak age for...

Jeremy (17:09.98)

my parents don't know anything, right? That sentiment. And so you're placed in a role where you probably, even outside of martial arts, would have been growing into your own, the two of you, right? That's the nice way of saying it. And now you are, your role, your responsibility is to bring additional information back to your school, which in this case means

Aidan Coakley (17:14.049)

Yeah.

Aidan Coakley (17:25.804)

Mm-hmm.

Jeremy (17:39.566)

educating your parents.

Cool.

Aidan Coakley (17:45.206)

Yeah, it wasn't always easy.

Jeremy (17:46.651)

and they're still married and you still love them and you still see them on holidays.

Aidan Coakley (17:49.388)

Yes, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and they're still we are we're kind of They're getting older and they're looking more towards, you know in next however many years Retirement or such and I'll be taking over and just be just be me eventually on my and my team But Yeah, so like there's there's still a part of it. My mom teaches the the little little kid She's the main instructor for you know, three four five year olds

Jeremy (18:04.926)

Yep. Yep.

Aidan Coakley (18:23.278)

And I'm out there too for them, but I'm the basic white belt and up for everybody else.

Jeremy (18:35.679)

Can we spend some time talking about the family dynamic? Because you're not the first to... So I've got this theory, this philosophy that it's really difficult for people to maintain multiple different relationships. So you're talking about, depending on how you look at it, you can look at it as three. You've got the family dynamic, you've got the owning, wanting a school dynamic, and then you've got...

Aidan Coakley (18:39.31)

Mm-hmm.

Jeremy (19:05.5)

the general martial arts dynamic.

And that can get messy because having to switch on and off those roles, especially when authority starts to change, depending on the context, is a challenge. we could probably spend a bunch of time talking about how you got it wrong. How did you get it right? Because if you never got it, if it never got better, you wouldn't all still talk to each other, right? That would have deteriorated. So you found some ways.

Aidan Coakley (19:38.904)

Yeah, sometimes just keeping it in the buildings. Another layer to this is that we have another family business in which we run a child care service. Yeah. So the lines are very blurred. I would say that the lines kind of don't exist at all at this point because anytime I'm over there, how like...

You know, I did start off with, hey, how's your day? Blah, blah. Oh, you know, I did this, so I need your help with this, or we need to do this. It devolves into that. And so when I think I'm going to have a five minute conversation, it into two hours. And. Yeah, so again, it comes with its challenges, but it's definitely rewarding. And especially when we were, you know, we're younger. And much newer to it all.

there was definitely a lot of conflict. And again, plenty of times I was the one, I was the brother that kept, I for the most part kept my head down. Cause I'm the younger one. So I would just, I would just kind of go away, just do what I'm told and whatnot. Not always perfect in that though. And yeah, so again, for actually for the most part, my brother is, he moved up North Jersey. So he's,

He comes around every once in a while, but I'm the next in line with the business, I guess. So I'm the one that's working a lot more closely with my parents and making everything work.

Jeremy (21:19.484)

So 12, if I did the math, you're 23.

Aidan Coakley (21:23.918)

Yeah, 2024, yeah. I just turned 25 two months ago.

Jeremy (21:26.59)

24, okay, okay. So 12 years, half of your life has been spent running a school as an instructor, at least part of the time. That's not something very many people can say in their 20s.

So while you are, to a lot of people, rather young, you also have context for certain things. You've run a school longer than I have, by far. Yeah. Yeah.

Aidan Coakley (21:56.546)

Really? wow.

Jeremy (22:03.982)

What would you, if you were to do what your instructor did for your family, notice I didn't say two, I said four, right? There's an opportunity. If you had a family that was training with you and you wanted, they, let's say they were gonna move a couple hours away and you wanted them to open a school and they were qualified, rank, et cetera, you saw the right personality traits in them. How would you guide them in doing this so that

maybe there was less conflict for their family.

Aidan Coakley (22:37.262)

I would definitely say find a way to have some better separation in terms of not just, you know, don't bring everything home with you if you had a disagreement about curriculum or whatever. You'll be able to kind of separate them in terms of conversation. And then also, like physically, don't, with the dude, we were on top of each other all the time. I saw their faces all the time.

And especially my brother and I, brothers bicker and fight every once in a while. it's a good idea to be able to kind of have your own space or your own time to just have to yourself or to decompress or whatever, just so that you're not constantly nipping at each other.

And still, you know, be respectful, you know. Still, I guess, try and maintain a level of respect and whatnot, because you're all, at the end of the day, everyone's still a student. Everyone's still learning, whether that's martial arts curriculum or how to teach. I teach so drastically different than how I did five, 10 years ago. And I have some students that are like, oh, you used to do this. I'm like, yeah, I don't do that anymore, or whatever.

Jeremy (23:55.176)

Hmm.

Aidan Coakley (24:05.91)

Yeah, every instructor should be growing up and continue learning.

Jeremy (24:11.334)

Agreed. What are some of those ways in which you're teaching differently now?

Aidan Coakley (24:16.462)

I was always a physically fit kid and I was always running or playing soccer or doing whatever and so I had a lot more calisthenics involved because I thought it was a lot more fun and it make them stronger and potentially better at martial arts and such. But then as I think it was a MADC training where you guys have that analogy of how big is your pool? Is it?

a square foot or is it really, really long, but only like six inches deep kind of, I think that was in the first training, if I remember correctly. And once they, and especially when I heard that analogy, that really, puts in the right frame of mind for me, where I started looking and learning more about the history and the culture behind everything that we do and more applications in Tata and such. So my priorities kind of shifted a little bit.

Jeremy (25:14.59)

And for the audience with Aidan's referencing that comes out of the Matic training is a segment that Craig usually presents. Craig, who, is it Craig and Victor fighting it out for most appearances on martial arts radio other than Andrew and I? But Craig generally talks about this as, know, people don't want to, they want to learn from depth. They don't just want to learn from a shallow pool. They want to learn from something that actually can continue to be interesting. So that's what you're referencing there.

Jeremy (25:48.657)

What I think I heard in there was maybe when you were younger, you weren't as interested in the history, the philosophy, the thoughtfulness. You were probably less interested in kata back then, more interested in kumite. You wanted to get physical, right? But as you've gotten older, you've started to see more of the value in some of the other aspects of training. Okay.

Aidan Coakley (26:05.985)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Aidan Coakley (26:16.208)

yeah, and now I have to find a fun way to convey that to all different ages. So keep some of the physical stuff, but then also sprinkle in, because what nine-year-old wants to learn about history.

Jeremy (26:38.239)

depends on how it's presented. And to me, that's the enjoyment of the challenge of being in the front of the room is when we're in the front of the room, we have the context. We know where we want them to go. We know where, after a little while, where they're hoping to go, right? Because we start to understand our students. But they haven't been there, so they don't have the context to be able to understand what we're asking them to do, because it's only in hindsight.

And so our job in the front of the room is to give them what they want and need, sometimes despite what they think they want and need.

And that is not easy. That is a, I'm gonna call it a fun challenge, but it's not always fun.

Aidan Coakley (27:17.229)

It's not.

Jeremy (27:23.966)

especially when you're.

Aidan Coakley (27:24.034)

Yeah, it has its challenges. At the end of the day, it is rewarding. And one of the most rewarding feelings is when I'll be teaching Akata or something, and then they're like, could this move lead into this too? And they start going deeper before I even start prompting them or anything. it's like, my god, I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but you're my favorite today.

Yeah, like so when you see like the light bulb or the fire like it's awesome

Jeremy (27:58.855)

Nice. So what are some of those ways that you are incorporating, you let's, you you get to see this on both sides. I was never a kid who gravitated towards sparring. I was always the forums kid, right? And in fact, I have...

grown from, dislike sparring to, I also like sparring. But you've, I don't necessarily want to say you've flipped in your interests, but at least you see enough value that you're placing some priority in multiple areas. How are you trying to reach, try to present, let's say, forms and more intellectual material to younger kids who might be like yourself and less interested in it?

Aidan Coakley (28:49.654)

Yeah, and again, guess it kind of depends on the rank. I don't go too far into deep stuff with white belts. It's fairly surface level at the start. But I've learned the importance of just literally just having a smile and not necessarily what you're teaching, but how you're teaching of just sound excited.

Jeremy (29:09.011)

Mmm.

Aidan Coakley (29:17.838)

and passionate that you want to be there and it kind of rubs off on them. So that would be probably the first or the biggest thing, is to just have the right attitude and make it seem way more fun than what they originally thought, potentially. And then having kind of, I want to say,

Jeremy (29:24.05)

Hmm.

Aidan Coakley (29:46.35)

having some mystery behind it. Everyone likes a little bit of mystery. But if I teach, if I say rising block and I say, especially if they may do one of my other instructors, be like, is this just a block? Could be a strike? I don't know. And just kind of have that and like you get them thinking. And I've even had some people that come to me after class, like the ones that want to know more, especially at the lower levels, they come by and they're like, what do mean by that? And they start trying to dive deeper.

And I work with them and as everyone goes higher and higher in rank, that becomes more apparent with everybody. And I be a little bit more straightforward with some of the stuff.

Jeremy (30:26.878)

Okay, what I'm hearing is a few things. I'm hearing you kind of tell a story and you also create some curiosity. You leave some things unfinished that for some of them is gonna get the wheels turning.

Aidan Coakley (30:45.54)

yeah. Yeah. And even just, you know, sometimes, you know, I'll ask questions if we're, let's say we practice like a horse stance hold and just build up our endurance or whatever. And we can start talking during that point too. We can start talking about the Kata or, you know, what, applications can be, or even like, like, Hey, who made this Kata? You know, even, even that kind of stuff so that they start getting those little pieces, but I'm not.

Jeremy (31:10.078)

Mm.

Aidan Coakley (31:15.66)

I'm not going to whip out the paper and like, hey, this is your test. Here you go. You have to know this now. Just for them.

Jeremy (31:28.658)

We talked about how maybe you've trained, not maybe, how you've changed as an instructor. How have you changed other than, you you're embracing some of the intellectual, academic, non-combative stuff. How else have you changed? Because starting from three, I started at four, I get it, right? There's something when you start that young, there's something that people who did not start that young don't understand, and that is,

There is nothing before martial arts.

Maybe you did a couple things, maybe you ran around, maybe you were a child, but there's so much of who you are is wrapped up in martial arts. It is so much of your identity that separating from that becomes incredibly difficult. I literally, right? Could you imagine what your, who you would be without martial arts?

Aidan Coakley (32:21.72)

No, I've tried thinking that and it's impossible for me.

Jeremy (32:24.69)

Right, right, right. And I feel the same way.

How have you as a person that is wrapped up in martial arts, how has your, I guess I'm gonna ask it, how has your identity and understanding of your own identity changed over time?

Aidan Coakley (32:47.49)

That's a tough one.

Jeremy (32:50.387)

I couldn't ask the question the way I would ask it of a lot of people because you answered it, right? I don't know. How do I separate those things?

Aidan Coakley (33:00.482)

Yeah,

Aidan Coakley (33:05.442)

That's a point.

Jeremy (33:07.87)

If I may, I've got a potentially simpler version of the question I could ask you.

Aidan Coakley (33:11.522)

Okay, let's try that.

Jeremy (33:16.378)

if you had to, if other people were answering for you. Well, who is Aiden as a martial artist?

What would they say?

Aidan Coakley (33:28.838)

you know, I can because I did, I did just have a conversation with one of my, know, student, he's an adult. and he's, he's talked about how different I am. And I feel like he never really puts it on the head, but he, I would arguably say that, you know, I really become.

more passionate about it. And it's not something I think Craig has said this before, you can't teach passion. It just kind of comes up at enough time or certain memories or events happen. And you just get kind of turned on to it and you're just keep rolling. So I've definitely

I've tried to become a lot more... not tried to be like, I've just become more passionate about martial arts as a whole and trying to teach as much of it as I can to as many people, because I agree with you, everyone should train in martial arts for at least six months or for their entire lives. I'm good with either in between. So... Yeah, and I...

There was a certain point, I think sometime later in high school or early in college where

Aidan Coakley (35:03.694)

How do I put this?

Aidan Coakley (35:07.47)

I started to be responsible for people. It was mainly when my brother, because he would always take class, I would be assisting or I would be taking small groups or whatever. And then when he went away to college. And then I kind of took over his role of being out in front a lot more.

and taking larger groups and being more responsible for the dojo as a whole, then also, you know, helping to raise, you know, and then maybe you can attest as being a part of students lives, whether they're kids or adults. you know, and my mom said for, for a long time before I really started to get it, that I'm, I'm a role model.

And to a 16 year old kid, I don't want to that doesn't mean, like you don't fully grasp that. Most 16 year olds, and myself included, didn't really fully understand that until a few years later. And so that has mainly driven my passion is that I'm responsible for these kids, mostly kids, their martial education, but as well as how are they doing in school.

How are they at home with their parents? And everything like we I've worked with parents on behavior issues or schoolwork I've I tell the kids to bring in their math homework or their German homework or whatever and I I work on that with them I've raced the announcements from the announcement board and I start putting math equations up and we start working together So that was a little bit of a tangent, but yeah, I would say that's generally how

Jeremy (36:49.64)

Nice.

Aidan Coakley (36:56.552)

I started shifting away from being a little, I don't to say self-centered, know, focusing on my own training and more looking towards how can I help others, how can I teach others.

Jeremy (37:07.998)

Yeah. And that makes complete sense. You know, whether it's by intent or by accident, anybody who's spent time in the front of the room knows that you reach a point where that's where your education is. Doesn't mean that you can't learn more from other people, but there is a rapid education. When I had my first school, the two years I had my first school, I learned more in that two years than I had in the, at that point, it would have been 16 years prior.

combined because I had to take, you know, I learned how a thing worked for me and now I had to learn how it worked for everybody. That's a lot. That's a lot of work, right?

But what I'm hearing is you, as you maybe developed the maturity to understand it, you embraced it. I'm not hearing that you resisted this at any

Aidan Coakley (38:04.972)

Maybe a little here there, probably. Whether that was subconsciously or subconsciously. Maybe I didn't actively resist it, but I just kind of pushed off because I was like, how am I a role model? I do this and whatnot, but it's not until you start getting Christmas cards or they draw you a picture and they bring it to the dojo.

Jeremy (38:06.364)

Okay.

Aidan Coakley (38:35.266)

and they give it to like I got a bunch of stuff on my fridge.

Jeremy (38:40.412)

What is, and then this is gonna sound like maybe an obvious or a trite question and I don't actually mean it this way. What is being a role model mean to you?

Aidan Coakley (38:51.758)

That's a question. Having some sort of hopefully positive influence with or over somebody, kind of someone to maybe look up to. And again, even now I'm still like, why are people looking up to me? And...

Yeah, that's a tough one, because... yeah.

Jeremy (39:27.566)

There's something interesting that I think happens in martial arts and I've shared a room with you a number of times and...

I look up to you. I'm twice your age and that doesn't change anything for me, right? Because I see your passion and I see your willingness to get better and I see your willingness to help other people get better. And those are all admirable qualities. And I think when skill is coupled with passion and I think, you know, other people who have been in the martial arts a long time and seen other people who've been in the martial arts a long time.

Forget about rank, forget about style. When you see someone who is passionate and cares and is helpful and has things to contribute, that's something that I look up to. That's what gets me out of bed every day. It's not that I have to be in the front of the room or I have to lead anything. It's that I know I'm part of a chain that came before and goes after. And that means so much to me.

And I know what others in front of me did for me. And I don't want to break that chain. So even if I'm not, cause I'm not perfect, I've got to do my best to, to set some kind of example. And it makes me better. Cause I know they're watching and I bet you're the same way.

Aidan Coakley (40:50.573)

Mm-hmm.

Aidan Coakley (40:55.485)

Yeah, yeah, you know that brings up again I think Craig Craig's point of you know, martial arts is always one generation away from not existing anymore So I want to again. I don't plan on being a world champion of anything But how can I how can I keep it alive and how can I how can I pass it on? You know eventually I'm still fairly young and I got plenty of years ahead of me

But one day when I'm no longer out in the front of floor, how will I have left the world of martial arts a better place than when I came in?

Jeremy (41:35.218)

Yeah, and I think that.

I think that's what everyone's goal should be. Right? My first rule of life as a child was I need to do a little bit more than my share. I don't know who told me that. I don't know if I made it up. But if you look at what we should be doing as martial artists, as students, as instructors, as school owners, I think that applies. Right? If I was given this, how do I make it a teeny bit better to give it to them?

Aidan Coakley (42:07.534)

Hmm.

Jeremy (42:08.434)

And if we can constantly do that, the things get better and that's great. But if we don't do that, things get worse and that's bad. And we shouldn't do things that are bad. It can be that simple, right?

Aidan Coakley (42:19.084)

Yes. That should be the title of this interview. Don't do things that are bad.

Jeremy (42:24.542)

Don't do things that are bad. I really hope Andrew clips this part out.

Jeremy (42:34.14)

All right, we're probably going to hard stop and now we'll restart in another direction.

Jeremy (42:45.896)

Passion. If you can't teach passion and you have to find passion, how can we cultivate an environment where people are more likely to find passion in their martial arts training?

Aidan Coakley (43:03.009)

Starting off just keeping things for the most part positive. I don't think most martial arts would say that they enjoyed every single second of their training, know, doing however many push-ups or holding horse stance for however many minutes or whatever it is. But to still, I would just like, you know, have fun with it. Take it seriously and, you know, teach, you

whether at a service level or in depth or whoever you're teaching to, make it palatable for people. Because I can't tell you how many different ways I had to break down a certain move in a bunch of different ways. It's learning what somebody needs and then trying to work that.

keeping it positive for them and keeping them engaged. And it kind of again would happen with me if I was engaged with it long enough and I had enough good experiences, you start to really bond with martial arts or bond with whatever you do, whether it's martial arts or baseball or whatever. Because yeah, you can't teach passion. I can't pull up a lesson plan and do that. It takes a long time.

Jeremy (44:33.406)

Yeah, I am going to ask this question.

What do you think most martial art, not most, scratch most, what do you think a large portion of martial arts schools could do better?

Aidan Coakley (44:48.142)

Hmm.

Aidan Coakley (44:55.02)

Nothing easy, because if it was easy then everyone would be doing it.

Definitely finding the mix between

practical self-defense martial arts, know, kumite fighting and everything. But then, you know, so there's that and then there's the physical fitness side of it. And then you can just having fun, being able to play a game at the end of class, not every single day, but like finding that balance is, think is extremely hard. And especially like I've,

I've trained in a few different, I go to a few different schools and such in my time of, currently, at my age now, the last few years I've been training at a traditional school with its very, very small hardwood floors, traditional in that aspect, no gear.

And then again, I've been to other places and other seminars and such where the focus is, know, fitness, keeping it positive, and they teach things about life through martial arts. And, you know, even in my own program with the three, four, five year olds, it's great if they can do a rising block. I care a little bit more about can they follow directions? Are they learning their lefts their rights?

Aidan Coakley (46:34.19)

Are they growing up? Are they learning?

Jeremy (46:40.509)

Yeah, and it's so there's no right answer. Right. We're trying to balance so many things. And I think the more things we're trying to balance, the more likely that it's a it's a moving target. And the target that you said is going to dictate the students that you keep. Some people are going to resonate more with a physical fitness. Priority and some are going to resonate more with an academic priority or a

self-defense priority and it's okay. Right? You can do it differently for different people. And some schools solve this by having different classes with different focus. And that's, do you ever do that? I don't have enough classes in a week in my school to do that.

Aidan Coakley (47:24.301)

Yeah.

Aidan Coakley (47:30.174)

We play with the idea. the most part, we have a fairly consistent schedule. I played in recent term. We've actually got a lot of adults recently in our white and yellow belt class. so depending on what's being taught, you know, might, and if I have the help there, might separate.

the class and maybe I'll take the older students aside and like, okay, hey, let's get a little bit deeper with our understanding of this. One, because it either wouldn't be fun for the little kids and or it might, you know, I don't want to teach 10 year olds some of that stuff. So, no, not yet. So, we've definitely played, we don't have an adult class and whatnot.

Jeremy (47:53.278)

Sure, sure.

Aidan Coakley (48:20.622)

Especially, you know, we've the shorter people in front, taller people in the back. When I'm going around and making corrections or noticing people and such, you know, I might say, I might take that 30 seconds with them, you know, talk about something a little bit else real quick and then, you keep moving on. So I still, try to keep both groups, yeah.

Jeremy (48:42.224)

Did you just say you line people up by height?

Aidan Coakley (48:47.438)

rank and height. For the most part it's rank. But then like, you know, if I have a white belt adult and we're all facing the mirrors, don't want the student that's half the size of that person, they can't see themselves or correct themselves.

Jeremy (49:00.393)

Okay.

Jeremy (49:04.658)

Sure, and that makes complete sense. But I thought you were, I didn't understand that rank was also a part of it. And I was imagining, and I was actually kind of excited. I was kind of hoping you did this, because it would be a method of arranging a class that I had not heard before, strictly based on height. And somebody out there is going to write me and say, I've been doing that for 30 years, and I hope you do, and I want to know more about it.

Aidan Coakley (49:30.094)

Yeah, so we say rank and actually what I do with the white and yellow belt classes is I do reverse rank where I have the lowest ranking people up front so that I or whoever the instructor is, is closest to them. And as you get higher in rank and such, Oregon adults don't need as much hand holding usually.

Jeremy (49:31.069)

Okay.

Jeremy (49:48.616)

Mm-hmm.

Aidan Coakley (49:57.326)

They can start getting that little sense of independence as they start kind of moving, know, physically moving away from the instructor. You know, we still make our way back there and everything, but usually the people on the front row need a little bit more help.

Jeremy (50:17.758)

Let's talk about the future.

Aidan Coakley (50:20.6)

flying cars, Mars, yep, alright.

Jeremy (50:22.77)

Well, they keep telling us that and it keeps not happening.

But let's think however far into the future you want to think. We come back around, maybe it's five, 10 years, maybe it's 50 years. Yeah, I'll still be here. I might not be doing this, but I'll still be here. Welcome to episode five. Would that be 5,000 in 50 years? It's been 10, yeah. Yeah, you come back. Episode 5,012 or something.

Aidan Coakley (50:56.954)

Okay, I'll put it in my camera.

Jeremy (50:58.8)

And we're going to put that out. And I say, all right, and it's been 50 years.

what's happened since we last talked, what would you be telling me? What would you want to be telling

Aidan Coakley (51:16.242)

Probably that my back and my knees hurt or something. But then, hopefully by then, 50 years, how old will I be? 70 something?

Aidan Coakley (51:33.166)

Yeah, by then I think I'll be, I would hope that I'm in some way, shape or form retired. That being said, I don't think I would stop, you know, someone else is taking over my school or schools, you who knows what the future holds. And I would probably, if I were able, still.

come to classes. I've had instructors in their 70s and 80s and they're not necessarily always up front and doing everything or whatnot. They're just in the dojo and they were still positive influence on me so if I can pay that forward. Definitely try to a better work-life balance. We'll see when that happens.

Jeremy (52:29.17)

when martial arts is life, it is either never balanced or constantly balanced.

Aidan Coakley (52:29.623)

on.

Jeremy (52:36.99)

what I've come to realize.

Aidan Coakley (52:37.99)

So I'd like to, know, maybe in however many years, you know, if I have the opportunity to, you know, either open up another school or continue making my school better. And hopefully by then I'll built up a good team. I already have a pretty good team, but you know, make it better, make it bigger.

Aidan Coakley (53:01.216)

And yeah, maybe take a few more vacations.

Jeremy (53:05.586)

Right on. Nice. If people want to get a hold of you, social media websites, where would they go?

Aidan Coakley (53:07.287)

Hey.

Aidan Coakley (53:12.046)

So we have a Facebook as well as I just a few days ago where we were starting getting to Instagram and such so I just I just made that so okay came all the hill At those and then we also have our website and there's a phone number on there

Jeremy (53:29.928)

and we'll make sure we get that stuff in the show notes. I think we have all that. If we don't, just make sure you send it over and we'll look at it. Okay, okay, I thought so. I thought that was in there too. Cool. All right. I'm gonna have you close in just a moment your final thoughts. is your poignant, quotable, it's gonna go on a poster. No pressure. I'm just kidding. Half kidding. But for those of you in the audience,

Aidan Coakley (53:34.04)

Yeah, I think I sent it on Andrew.

Aidan Coakley (53:50.188)

Nice.

Jeremy (53:54.993)

Check out Aidan's stuff. If you see him at an event, because I'm sure he'll show up at Whistlekick events again, make sure you say hi. He'll probably have a pink gi top on, which I love. Love that about you, You're the only other guy I know who's worn a pink gi. I think I told you that when I first met you, that I had a pink gi for a hot second. But mine was not official. It was dyed. And I screwed up and I washed it one day. And then I had a lot of pink clothes.

Aidan Coakley (54:04.738)

Yes, I will.

Aidan Coakley (54:13.058)

Really? Yeah.

Jeremy (54:24.69)

So it's a bad scene. Anyway, check out whistlekickmartialartsradio.com and whistlekick.com for all the things that we're doing to help the martial arts world move forward. Everything from Whistlekick Alliance for Schools to our Matic Teacher Training Programs to our Apparel and Training Programs and all kinds of other good stuff. So find those over there and make sure you're telling people about Martial Arts Radio and join the Patreon and all that stuff.

All right, Aidan, hopefully that was enough time for you. So close this up. What do you want to leave people with today?

Aidan Coakley (55:00.782)

I've known I guess whistle kick and you guys as a whole for about a year or two now I think and You guys have been a huge influence on my teaching and my training in just these few years and I would definitely speak to the listeners and the watchers right now that if if you guys can Join whistle kick in any way shape or form definitely

Definitely do. And saying all this, he did not tell me to say this. I don't want to preface that. But yeah, you guys are great. I love what you guys are doing. And I want to definitely continue training with you guys and learning with you. And then just generally across martial arts, just keep on training. Work hard and find what's best for you. Do what you want to do and love what you do.